Into the Woods!

I always wondered why Red Riding Hood wandered off the path.  I mean, how stupid.  The instructions clearly said, “DO NOT GO OFF THE PATH!”  It’s like those teenagers who hear a sound in the basement and go into the dark to investigate, obviously they aren’t going to make it out alive. And then it…

#lifetips34

There’s a famous saying that you can’t polish a turd. Don’t despair – because you can always roll it in glitter! Some days I am up to my elbows in glitter.

whining.net

If only my whining was like the internet and could be capped when it reached 3GB.  Instead, its unlimited bandwidth has enabled terabytes of complaining this month. Perhaps if Net Nanny was a real person, she’d know what to do – either burp me or drown me.

The interweb

Someone was talking about the net not always being what it seems – sometimes the men are men, and the women are men, and children are often the FBI.

beyond #selfhelp

All these self-help books keep sharing how to “find yourself”.  Having achieved this by simply looking behind the couch (where I was snugly hidden) I am now reaching the conclusion that I was perhaps better off “lost”.  Of course the reversing of this option is a bit like trying to turn toast back into bread.

ke?

I’m convinced my ‘voice of reason’ is either mumbling or has a stutter – it would explain so many of the same bad choices I have made with such blinding conviction.  Then again, it might be that my voice of reason might be foreign, like Spanish or Mongolian, in which case I can hardly be blamed for…

Think on the happiness of this.

Fantastic new research from University of Rochester shows that extrinsic rewards (money, cars, stuff) basically makes us more depressed – it’s called “hedonic adaption”. The research quotes that those focused on the “American dream” are basically the most miserable of all. Happiness = hard, meaningful work on self and social bonds. Either that or poor…

Fat!

All this talk about muscle memory, but you think your fat forgets?

Sunday blues

I don’t have a dog, which means for any kind of valid excuse i basically have to eat my own homework

more politics

Our minister of security’s wife is guilty of drug trafficking, I think the concept of “if you can dream it you can be it” got a little confused in politics 101. Yes, we have the best politicians money can buy. Oh, and by the way, wasn’t the Minister of Security living off the proceeds of…

if only.

I want employees that are like my beard. In the morning you wake up and the work is done

#undateable

My ex and I split over religious differences, he was Catholic and I was Satan.