I always wondered why Red Riding Hood wandered off the path. I mean, how stupid. The instructions clearly said, “DO NOT GO OFF THE PATH!” It’s like those teenagers who hear a sound in the basement and go into the dark to investigate, obviously they aren’t going to make it out alive.
And then it occurred to me, path or no path, you get to the same brutal finish! Yes, we might not end up lucky enough to be packaged into lean cuts in a serial killer’s freezer, but on a long enough time line you will eventually pop your clogs. So why take that risk free, fat-free, grey-scale approach and stay on the path? People on the path I say to you – yes you might see me running screaming through the woods with a giant wolf behind me, trailing torn clothes and wearing only one battered, turquoise shoe. But I want you to remember that it was all self-inflicted, so shout encouragement and light a sparkler. Gosh, If you’re really keen you can even join the conga line. But let it be said that I chose the dark woods.
It’s a shorter life, but I want brambles in my socks thanks.