If only my whining was like the internet and could be capped when it reached 3GB. Instead, its unlimited bandwidth has enabled terabytes of complaining this month. Perhaps if Net Nanny was a real person, she’d know what to do … Continue reading whining.net
Neo got to choose between the red pill and the blue pill. My reasoning was, that if one red pill is good, six would be fantastic! As it turns out my thinking was somewhat flawed. Continue reading Follow the rabbit
Its ADD just in Hi-definition. Continue reading ADDHD
When i said that I had a great evening, I just wasn’t referring to this evening. Continue reading
Is there a distinction between desperate and needy? Of course there is.. I got a distinction for both in my final year. Continue reading with honours
OMG! I’m like 4ft 5! Why didn’t anyone say anything? I’m so embarrassed. If you put me in a jar I’d look like an olive Continue reading the dwarf part
If anyone finds a video on YouTube – its not me. It just looks like me from that angle. Sheesh. As if. Continue reading As if.
A family of Indian Myna’s have moved into the chimney of my fireplace (these are birds, not under-age or underground workers from Bombay). If I turn it on, its going to be like a Nando’s cook-up. It sounds like they’re sub-dividing and building a Tuscan villa, but they’re getting the grace of summer. Come winter and a plume of smoke will signal their forced removal or baked Myna casserole. Continue reading Minors
My waitress said what I ate was “guru”. I double checked. I would apologise to anyone missing their guru this morning, but he must have been a very young guru cos he was soft and tender – perhaps a baby guru? I would look for guidance on this delicate matter, but explaining there was a guru in my soup would just be awkward. However, if you’re interested, guru is best served hot with a little chilli on the side. Continue reading the joy of being a foreigner
From now on I am going to be kind to my inferiors, it’s just proving very hard to find them. Continue reading
Perhaps I can become green and angry and wear purple shorts, sadly people will probably think its Barney and not the Incredible Hulk. Continue reading
Yoda said, “do or do not. There is no try”. Well, all I can say is you’re a 3-ft olive green prune and you live in a swamp, perhaps my life is not so bad after all. Continue reading my space ship is sinking