My expectations, like my appendix, should be surgically removed. They lie dormant, and then one day just explode in a shower of Sheila, leaving you writhing and frothing like a … Continue Reading damn those expectations….
Working on the tag-line for the movie of my life. Clearly, “Where no man has been before” would be a lie. “There could be only one” sounded a little pompous … Continue Reading My Life
In his amazing book and TED speech, Mr Robinson tells of his 4 year old son who was in the nativity play as one of the three wise men. The … Continue Reading from Ken Robinson
In my speech as best man, I referred to a point that I stumbled upon at Mazista tiles. A tiled floor is not unlike a marriage. If you lay it … Continue Reading The Best man speech
When I was a little boy I looked up to the night sky and thought, ” I wish I was Luke Skywalker”. At 36, I look up at the stars, and wonder, “What the … Continue Reading #justsaying
In gym there was a guy wearing the scariest t-shirt ever.. it said, “I know what you looked like last summer!”
I’m all for improving on mother nature (whose had some spectacular mishaps), but a woman in Woolworths resembled the bonnet of a BMW.
Shouldn’t one need a license to have children? Guns require one, it seems only logical that they should too. Also, with a package insert that says, don’t add sugar, carbonated … Continue Reading kids
Clearly the person who penned.. “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”, was not referring to an Emu.
We need to guard against thought-terminating clichés uttered by mental incompetents. So next time someone says, “Ah, but that’s what you would say” or some mindless drivel like, “but that’s … Continue Reading
Apparently the meek will inherit the earth. I would like to point out that the strong are, in the meantime, enjoying a pretty good standard of living.
Think of a number from 1 to 9. Multiply by 9. Add the new number to itself to get a single digit. Now minus 5. The new number corresponds with … Continue Reading Have your mind boggled
I see dead people. Some of them don’t even know they’re dead. Some of them are in fact operating heavy machinery in Pick ‘n Pay. And two employees at an … Continue Reading Shopping
If the Corona pandemic highlights only one thing for me, its our communal blind spot to the visceral reality of life. Who gave us the memo that bad things are … Continue Reading A postcard from the edge.
I just thought of such a cool way to make big cash. But first, what does my spleen actually do?
Memo on self-defence. If you are the victim of an attempted car-jacking, always roll down the window before firing your taser. Or at least have a car with no on-board … Continue Reading South African adventures