You know you took too much when you try to dial with your tongue
I am struggling to accept that this is not a dress rehearsal, but is in fact the main performance. I feel my part has been grossly under-written and appallingly lit. … Continue Reading vomitorium
If I was to go into a church I would of course be incinerated at the door. However, I’d like to point out for those who do go, it doesn’t … Continue Reading so.
I just read about the dis-inhibition effect. This is when, for example, you say that your boss is a mental cripple with the face of a bashed crab, forgetting that … Continue Reading #the disinhibition effect
Today I saw a real life celebrity meltdown. This is apparently the behaviour that put Charlize on the A-star list, but there is nothing quite so awful as a barely … Continue Reading celebrity?
Tomorrow I shall test Nietzsche’s famous quote, “if you stare into the abyss for long enough, the abyss stares into you” when a team of medical professionals will put a … Continue Reading Me, my colon and I
Those Ross sisters just seem plain possessed, and the song? I mean it’s practically a tribute to something that’s impacted in your colon… don’t watch this if you take drugs.
Is Facebook and a DVD contract the same as having a social life? Its not like school. Now i have over two thousand people who don’t realise that i actually have … Continue Reading who am I?
You wouldn’t take advice from someone who had no experience, but apparently we should listen to what the pope has to say about sex? Well I’m having lots of sex, … Continue Reading Huh?
A night out when I was a kid was a milkshake and movie. Just a few years later, it was a line of horse tranquilizer, a gorilla called Steve and … Continue Reading a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
I thought cowboys were cool, until I reached age thirty-something, got on a horse that simply refused to move forward, and was ridiculed by snotty eight year girls galloping about … Continue Reading I’ve taken up horse riding!
Why are the leaders of most religions driving in armoured cars – surely they have nothing to fear but eternal bliss?
My porn star name (first pet’s name with your mother’s maiden name) is Smokey Tippet. It also allows for some funny song rip-offs like, “Smoke-y gets in your eyes”. Which … Continue Reading my porn name
I am annoyed by the recovery definition of insanity… which goes along the lines of ‘insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results’. No people. Insanity is thinking … Continue Reading more dating
This could be it people, I could pop my clogs. I would donate my organs, but I think they’re a little on the iffy side. My kidneys are more like … Continue Reading told you I was sick!