silver lining

I’m scared to make a list of my positives as other people might not value my ability to macrame or accurately spot clouds that look like rare vegetables.

more dating

I am annoyed by the recovery definition of insanity… which goes along the lines of ‘insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results’. No people. Insanity is thinking you are the King of Bahrain or a flying gem squash. Insanity is stepping into traffic and casting a spell to stop a fully loaded…

damn those expectations….

My expectations, like my appendix, should be surgically removed. They lie dormant, and then one day just explode in a shower of Sheila, leaving you writhing and frothing like a slug in salt. All of which is terribly inconvenient on a blind date.

#StarWars – a true story

I was comparing notes on dating with one of my other personalities, and I realised how much I had changed. When I was young (and i will use the Star Wars metaphor here) I wanted Princess Leia, would have settled for Han Solo, and ended up with Chewbacca. Now I want a Wookie, would settle…

More dating

I have joined a dating website, and by one, I mean three. So far, I have established that athletic refers to an entire category of lazy, fat people who have stolen other people’s photographs. I think its time to do what momma always said. Find a pet that wont die for at least a decade. Now…

so they told me…

Before having a relationship you’re supposed to be able to keep a pet and a plant alive for a year. Technically my iguana is still alive, but the three lonely, dead creepers on the balcony are telling me that perhaps more work is needed. Either that or I should defrost the ex from the freezer…

now I know this much is true.

I have reached the conclusion that seeing and believing have parted ways – and I lay the blame squarely on photoshop and the interweb.

#Tip16

The Lord of the Rings also contains great wisdom for those on the dating scene. If someone calls you precious, they’re probably a horrible hairy footed hobbit trying to throw you into Mount Doom.