Our minister of security’s wife is guilty of drug trafficking, I think the concept of “if you can dream it you can be it” got a little confused in politics 101. Yes, we have the best politicians money can buy. Oh, and by the way, wasn’t the Minister of Security living off the proceeds of drug money? I see a move to the Ministry of Health, at least there is practical knowledge in pharmacology. Continue reading more politics
I want employees that are like my beard. In the morning you wake up and the work is done Continue reading if only.
My ex and I split over religious differences, he was Catholic and I was Satan. Continue reading #undateable
There are moments where I have made the kind of blunder that is so spectacular that embarrassment moves to an altogether higher plane. I have rubbed a growing tummy to discover that it is in fact fat and not a baby, I have shaken the hands of the waiter and ordered a drink from my client, I have pulled a modem out of the wall to prevent a certain email from ever leaving my pc. Some days Alzheimers seems a blessing Continue reading end it all now!
Suicide bombers get to have 72 virgins after their explosive deaths. That’s pretty non-specific if you think about it. They could get 72 acne covered, world-of-warcraft techno-geeks; but then again, that’s a pretty just reward for being a suicide bomber. Continue reading A virgin what?
It is staggering that people cheat, and not because I can’t fathom the reasons behind it, but because it means they found multiple romantic options! Where? I feel like I’ve contracted a more chronic and terminal variant of singledom. And lets face it, I had fairly low standards to begin with. Continue reading this shallow dating pool
Its true. I hate car guards. I don’t get taxed for say, clouds, just because they’re there. And having someone stand behind me in an empty car park waving like a crazy is not something I feel like paying for. Also car guards only mystically appear when I leave; I’m sure if South Africans landed on the moon there would be a car guard waiting for them to blast off, happily directing them as if they fly spaceships. Continue reading The dreaded Car Guard
Neo got to choose between the red pill and the blue pill. My reasoning was, that if one red pill is good, six would be fantastic! As it turns out my thinking was somewhat flawed. Continue reading Follow the rabbit
I read a quote from one of the Gucci family who said she’d rather be crying in her Rolls Royce than laughing on her bicycle. Now I realise that money can’t buy you happiness, but I’m also well aware that poverty can’t afford it either. So if anyone can lend me their Rolls, I’d like to test her theory – at least lets be scientific about these claims! Continue reading the Science of Poor
My shrink says I’m a narcissist, which is ironic and irritating because I have to pay him to talk about me constantly for an hour – at those rates, surely he could make up nicer things to say? Continue reading #myshrink